self esteem — MISFIT WELLNESS

WHY I'LL NEVER HAVE IT ALL (AND I'M LEARNING TO BE OK WITH THAT)

I’ve always found the concept of “having it all,” for women and men, to be terribly flawed. If you really break it down, it simply isn’t possible. There aren’t enough hours in the day to show up fully as our best selves in our careers, partnerships, families, friendships, communities, service efforts, spirituality practices AND still have time to proactively care for ourselves mentally and physically (which is what allows us to show up fully in the first place). Add in the basic human needs for joy, connection, fulfillment, adventure… How can we possibly expect to find time for all the aforementioned in the 24 short hours we have each day? I don’t believe we can, and I don’t believe we should have to.

HOW I LEARNED TO TRUST MY BODY AND HAVE FAITH IN MY ABILITY TO HEAL

I struggled on and off with disordered eating in some form or another for the better part of two decades. Combined with clinical depression, hormone imbalances, infertility, hypothyroidism and spinal osteoarthritis, my ongoing battle with my body was fueled by fear and a desire to control everything I couldn’t control. For years into recovery and my holistic health journey, I couldn’t quite figure out what kept me in the two steps forward, one step back cycle. And then I realized, I was missing two important things I had lost when I was a little girl: trust in my body and faith in myself.

RESHAPING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH EXERCISE

Many of us forget too easily that it is a gift to be able to move even in the most basic ways; and in a world where many people don’t have the time, money or ability, it is a privilege to be concerned with exercise at all. Over the past 7 years, I’ve found that the below have helped me make the most of the gift and privilege of regular movement.

WHY I SOLD 90% OF MY CLOTHES AND WHAT I LEARNED IN THE PROCESS

To be honest, I am still a little surprised by the resistance I felt every step of the way to accepting myself in whatever shape or form prioritizing health created. Intellectually, I knew it was the right choice, a no brainer. Logically, I knew there was no other choice but to put my health first. But emotionally? That was a whole other story. All of a sudden, I became painfully aware of all the negative associations I, and society, have with bodies that aren’t slim and tight and taught and perfect. It took a lot of therapy, hugs from my husband, reassurance from a few dear friends, reinforcement found in my work as a health coach, journaling and more therapy to free myself from the limitations of those associations.

AIN'T NO SHAME IN THAT SELF LOVE GAME: 9 WAYS TO SHOW YOURSELF THE LOVE

I'm a realist first and a dreamer second; always pragmatic and only (very) occasionally wistful. So you're not going to find me frolicking around chanting affirmations in the moonlight or tattooing an image of my naked body across my back. Yet. Honestly, I hope I dig myself enough to do those things someday with unbridled enthusiasm, but for now the below are quick, easy self love baby steps that even the most practiced in self-criticism can bear.